6 Ways to Balance Family & Work Life as a Mother
The reality of being a mom and a business owner is, at times, overwhelming.
No matter how meticulously you plan your day or how many to-do lists you create, life has a way of throwing unexpected curveballs. Just when you think you've got it all under control, your child falls sick, or a scheduled meeting coincides with school pick-up time, or... the list of unforeseen events is endless.
I’ve been a working mom since my first beautiful daughter was born in 2012. I’ve done it all.
At first, I worked in corporate and then started consulting. My consulting business started to grow, and right when I had my second child, I realized something pivotal – I couldn’t do it all.
Now, two years after my first baby was born, I finally have a balance between my professional life, my business, and my family life (at least most of the time 😉).
I’ve also learned some amazing things along the way. Sometimes, the lessons have been extremely painful, and other times, they have been joyous.
These are six things I’ve learned as a mompreneur about balancing my family life and my business.
It Will All Get Done
One of the biggest ways I have caused myself unnecessary stress as a mom and a business owner is by allowing myself to get overwhelmed by all of the things that need to get done in a day. If you are a mompreneur or own a business as a mom, you’re likely nodding your head at this.
My day is always split between work, admin, and family needs and tasks. One of the reasons I became a business owner as a mom was to have the flexibility to show up for most of the moments when my kids and my husband need my support. But some days, it is easier than others to get it all done.
So here’s my suggestion. About two years ago, I wrote down a mantra for myself. Yours can look however you want it to, but mine reads like this.
“I know that all of the necessary tasks will get done today. The rest can wait for tomorrow.”
I was scared the first time I really implemented this way of thinking. Wouldn’t everything fall apart if I didn’t get it all done? No. The answer is no. Nothing falls apart.
Some days, I accomplish all 50 things on my work list and all 20 on my family list. And some days, I don’t even accomplish 1 thing on my list. Those are the days I take a deep breath and remember that it will all get done. And you know what? It always does. And it does a whole lot happier when I just let go of the arbitrary deadlines I’ve placed on myself.
Messy is Okay
Okay, this is a hard one. Even now, twelve years into having a mom-owned business, I still really struggle with this reality. But the sooner you can allow yourself to accept this factor, the better your business or career will be.
It all comes down to this absolutely undeniable fact. Working, and being a mom raising children, whether you have a partner, or are doing it on your own, is just effing messy.
“Messy” is a bad word for many women. Especially in the professional world, it can feel like a failure if everything in your life isn’t clean, perfect, and buttoned up with a cute little bow on it.
Some working moms are better than others at hiding the reality of how messy it is to manage their children, their work, and their personal lives. But make no mistake—even the seemingly unmessy perfectionist moms out there have a big mess they’re hiding all the time.
Here’s the thing I realized as a working mom: It’s okay for things to be messy. In fact, if we don’t normalize the fact that it is really, really damn hard to work and raise a family, nothing will change. And believe me, change around this concept is needed.
So, at some point, I stopped trying to show up as if everything was in order. I stopped trying to act like somehow I was easily capable of doing it all.
If I’m late because I have to pick up a sick kid or attend a school event, I tell the people I’m working with.
I don’t act angry about the fact that most days are a messy, convoluted experiment, but I don’t pretend it’s not happening either.
In fact, I’m proud that I can work and support my family. Messy as it is. And you should be, too!
Expect the Curveballs
No, I’m not suggesting that you expect the worst. I know that if you expect the worst, it is more likely to happen.
What I am saying is that as a type-A perfectionist, I have had to learn that curveballs are going to come my way as a working mom. I can either freak out and cry in my coffee every single time my day is completely upended by a family or professional curveball, or I can expect that something (who knows what) will likely change my day every single day, and I’m going to embrace it when it comes.
Also, sometimes, an unexpected event or circumstance ends up being a blessing in disguise. So
Ask, and You Will Receive
I’ve written about this in other blogs about entirely different topics, but this theme is an ongoing issue and challenge for almost all women. But here’s the thing: You won’t win any kind of award by keeping your cards close to your chest and trying to do it all yourself.
You might get a few comments like, “Wow, I don’t know how you do it all,” or “You are so busy, how do you do it all?” But anytime I’ve received that kind of commentary in my life, it hasn’t made me feel better; in fact, it’s only made me feel worse.
So, when you have a moment, sit down and write a list of the people you truly trust to help with a) work-related needs, b) family responsibilities, and c) anything else you might need support with in your life.
After that, you can put the list away. Maybe you’ll never need an extra helping hand, but I’m guessing that you will.
And when that morning comes up that you have a meeting scheduled at the same time as school drop-off, or you’re going to miss a meeting because of a school event, or you just need less on your plate, ask one of your people for help!
It sounds so simple, but it’s not. I have struggled with asking for help for years. But every time I do, I ask myself, “Why did I hesitate?”
Schedule Time for Yourself
I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve been talking with mom-friend and have heard this line. “I am so burnt out, but I just don’t have any time for self-care.”
Does this sound familiar to you? And yes, I have been “that mom” on more than one occasion. So, I’m as much to blame for this mindset as any other mompreneur.
Sometime after the birth of my second child, though, I realized something: I am no good to anyone else if I’m not taking care of myself. In fact, my business will fail, my relationship with my family will be strained, and I will be incredibly unhappy.
Have you ever sat down and actually considered the repercussions of not scheduling time for yourself? What if you didn’t give your car gas? Would it keep running?
Your body is your vehicle, and as such, it needs to be maintained.
Besides all of that, ask yourself, what is the worst that can happen?
Even if you don’t have family that can (or will) support you, I guarantee that there are things you could set aside or push off to prioritize yourself.
Even if I just take 30 minutes a day or one hour each week to do something just for me, I notice an immense amount of stress lifts from me.
It can take the form of a walk by yourself, a pedicure when the kids are at school, lunch with a friend, coffee, and a book. Scheduling time for yourself doesn’t need to be complicated; it just needs to happen. So do it—for yourself and everyone else around you!
You Deserve Your Success
I specifically left this bucket for last. Why? Because learning to embrace and expect my own success has always been a struggle for me.
I won’t go into all of the reasons why, but I do feel that many women struggle with the same lack of confidence around their own success.
It wasn’t until recently that I fully accepted and embraced the idea of being everything I want to be. It wasn’t until recently that I realized that I do indeed deserve to have my dreams come true. But not just that, I am capable and ready for the success I know is coming to me.
If this resonates with you, then I’m excited for you right now because realizing and recognizing that you have been hindering your own potential and success starts with understanding and accepting that you deserve it!
If this is a struggle for you, and you find yourself shying away from your potential every time things get a little too difficult or a little too real, then you need to do something about it. Because even though I don’t know you, I know that you deserve to have your dreams come true. And that starts with believing that you deserve it!
Here are a few great books to get you started down the road of balancing work and home life:
What Happy Working Mothers Know, by Kathy L. Greenberg
Life Matters, by A. Roger Merrill and Rebecca Merrill
The Mompowerment Guide to Work-Life Balance, Suzanne Brown
Let me know how you balance family life and working life as a mompreneur or business owner!
