What I've Learned in My 50+ Years as a Woman Leader
On a late October afternoon, I bustled into a local coffee shop and looked around for Jill.
We were meeting to finish the interview for this story, and I was so excited. Our first conversation was so captivating and rich with insight and experience that we were forced to pause and schedule another time to finish up!
That’s when you know it’s a great interview as an editor when the time flies, and you’re left still wanting more.
Jill Rose is an experienced life coach, and owner of Jill Rose Coaching. She works with women to help them reclaim their joy. And Jill truly is a joy to know.
“Life coach” doesn’t fully express what I feel makes Jill an incredible woman leader, business owner, and mother. But instead of me blabbering on, let’s get to the interview!
I find Jill, and we cozy up with coffee at a little table in the corner of the bustling Pacific Northwest coffee shop to finish our chat.
Lis: How did you discover your current career?
Jill: On the playground in elementary school. I've always been someone who councils and nurtures. From an early age, I knew I wanted to be a therapist. At 50, my grandmother passed away. She was 99, and her life was extraordinary. Her death really hit me and made me realize that, at the time, I was not doing what I came here to do. I realized that I did not want to be on my deathbed at 99 and not be doing what I was meant to do. So, I dipped my toe in and quickly plunged into the next phase of my life, but my grandmother’s passing was the catalyst.
Lis: How has your business evolved since you started?
Jill: It’s come full circle for me. I had ideas, visions, and dreams for decades, but when I came into being a life coach, I had a wide net I cast based on my education and experience. Years into this and having a better understanding of myself and my goals, dreams, and aspirations, I have come back home to the original idea. I believe that all change and healing is coming back home to who we always were.
Lis: What are the 3 most challenging things in your average day?
Jill:
O N E // Staying Present // I contend with this one a lot. My grandmother used to say, “One step, one step,” and that mantra can help a lot on the days when I forget.
T W O // Management of Time // I am constantly regrouping and reminding myself to stay on task! I’m a very creative person, but the execution can sometimes be harder for me.
T H R E E // Right now, Menopause // This phase has been very challenging for me. Nobody talks about it. Even with all of the fluff out there about “aging gracefully” and “overcoming the symptoms of menopause,” there are very few studies on women’s hormones. There’s no known information about how to move through menopause without fearing for our lives. I resisted hormone therapies and treatments because of the fears I had regarding the talking points around side effects, etc. But my symptoms were so hard to deal with. Some of them include fogginess, random symptoms, weight gain – and the discomfort of all of them wore me down!
I have been trying to figure out what's true, what’s misinformation, and what’s right for my body. It has been a real struggle, and I still have not found a doctor who feels like they deal with my menopause symptoms comprehensively. There is so much to learn about menopause, but it’s hidden under the surface. We need to work as women to get more insight, information, and support to be available. I am a 52-year-old woman, and I want to feel good, but I don’t feel my best. I believe there is a better way!
Lis: How do you stay motivated?
Jill: I am very committed to my daily practice. Here’s my routine. It’s what keeps me going and motivated.
I meditate, and I journal every day. I love to write, and journaling creates ways for me to take the ideas spinning around in my head and articulate them.
I also listen to podcasts daily and read. There are so many inspiring leaders with podcasts, and I love gaining their insights and turning them into actions for myself.
The women I have in my life inspire me and keep me motivated as well. I get to bear witness to incredible transformations in the women I work with, and that is soul food for me.
I’m a big yogi. And I try to get to a daily yoga class if I can. When I am able to get out of my head, I find inspiration and motivation. Yoga does this for me. Plus, I always feel beautiful when I leave the yoga studio.
Lis: What do you think people misunderstand about life coaching?
Jill: I find that the concept of taking back your power really scares a lot of women, and yet, that’s what I’m most passionate about helping women do – reconnect to their power.
This also creates confusion about life coaching and how it can help women redefine their lives and power. Of course, “life coaching” can look many different ways, depending on the coach or program, but here are the ways in which I help my clients.
Redefine and unapologetically claim their power.
Work on day-to-day practices that transform, which always come back to self-trust, self-belief, and self-love.
Begin valuing themselves enough to set boundaries and reprioritize
Get out of a state of “stuck-ness and dissatisfaction. Which comes down to changing one’s mindset.
Learn to reconcile hard feelings and hard conversations.
Investment and work are involved in the process, and I’m not afraid to assign homework!
Lis: What does your morning and evening routine look like?
Jill:
M O R N I N G // I’m committed to this one!
Meditate
Journal
Drink lemon water
Do some kind of movement
Make my bed. I want to normalize celebrating this! :-)
On the days I don’t have time, there’s a definite void. It’s like, I don’t notice when I’m staying on my routine, but I definitely notice when I don’t. My husband will even make me get back into my routine when I get off the rails. When you have a morning routine, it’s like adding roots to your personal tree. Everything else can sway, but you stay rooted.
E V E N I N G //
It’s flexible. I don’t stick to one thing, but I do have a few things I usually do:
I read before bed. I will often go through two to three books a week!
I like to be with my family
I try to clean up the house and organize a bit
I read my calendar before bed (organize for the next day)
If I’m feeling ambitious, I may write a list for the next day
Lis: What do you wish you would have known in your 30s?
Jill: Simply, that I had everything I needed and that I’m enough.
I wish I didn’t play small.
I wish I had known that everything works out. Rarely in the way we think it will, but it does work out.
I held myself back, and I was scared to disrupt, upset, or outshine.
That’s what makes me so grateful to be in my fifties is that I can be who I am.
Lis: And in your 40s?
Jill: Not everyone is going to like you, and that’s okay!
It has nothing to do with you.
In my forties, I learned that people-pleasing is exhausting, and I just needed to let go and let the chips fall where they may.
Lis: What is it like to have kids who have “flown the nest?”
Jill: I think so many women are afraid to feel the loss of their kids growing up and moving on with their lives. I want women to know it’s okay to grieve the loss of your former family life. Allow space for that!
There are empty bedrooms, and your own phase of life is shifting. It can hurt, and that’s okay.
And there’s also beauty in this shift. My kids are so wonderful, and I’m so proud of who they are, but the grief is real. It’s a tricky line. At first, you might hear from your kiddos every day, then they branch out and may stop calling all the time. I have had to check myself so often and remind myself that this is part of the parenthood process.
I’m so happy they’re happy, but I miss the hell out of them.
Lis: If you could give your younger self 3 pieces of advice:
Jill:
Everything will work out. You don’t have to worry so much about work, this person or that career. Take off the pressure. Let it go!
Let yourself shine. Don’t let cultural constraints keep you down. Don’t minimize yourself.
Trust yourself more than you trust anything around you. Anyone’s opinion of you doesn’t outweigh your own intuition.
Lis: Who is the most influential woman in your life?
Jill: My Grandmother - was, and continues to be such an important influence in my life. She did life in her own way. I don’t know that when she was alive, I truly understood the connection between my goals and hers, but she just lived an authentic life. She put love and joy first. She was quite successful and goofy. She knew how to live life. My grandmother had to figure it out on her own because my grandfather died at a young age.
Expanders in my world are essential, and many women fall into this category for me. But the way my grandmother influenced me is innate. She will always be my greatest mentor.
Lis: Are there any other influential people you want to share about?
Jill: To be honest, my husband is the most influential person in my life. He is very supportive. He’s his own man, but he really has a sense of himself and values me as well.
Lis: Final thought: What are your favorite podcasts right now?
Jill:
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