I wouldn’t describe myself as a resilient person. I’m scared of change. I fear the unknown. I don’t like surprises. And the list goes on. 

The definition of resilience is “the ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change.” This is not me. But it’s who I want to be. 

Most of the changes I’ve made in my 38 years of life have come from one of two places. The move has been forced on me, or I’ve made it through a series of deteriorative events that led to me cutting my losses and walking away. There was that time, in college, I lost my roommate, and waited until I had to move out of our apartment to plan my next move. Then there was the time I got in an argument with my first real boss and quit on the spot. Again, no plan.

Not being resilient has definitely not stopped me from being bull-headed and stubborn, that’s for sure. 💁 That stubbornness has saved me many times. But more often, it's been detrimental to my own self-worth and my relationships.

There’s not a whole lot of middle ground to the anatomy that makes up me. There’s one-half people-pleaser, bend-over-backward-er will do anything for a friend--the list goes on--I’m even annoying myself writing this out. Then there’s the half that won’t take any sh*t, will tell you how it is and believes in the 'no holds barred' mentality. 👊I kind of like the kick-ass version of me better, if I'm honest. But the bullish-me doesn’t often leave a happy trail of flowers behind. And I've had to learn to put my other side forward more over the years. 

Don’t get me wrong, there’s a time and a place to say, “enough is enough.” But based on my personal experience in the 'Kill Bill' style, ‘drop a match and walk away' inclinations, I can definitely say that being resilient and receptive to change is the way to go. Sorry pyros. 🙅🔥

With a new year comes new opportunities, and this year I want to focus my energy on long-term change. This goal is not only for me but for my children who are watching my every move.  

So let's dig in! Here are the first three of my resolutions for 2020 (yes, I'm an overachiever). All of which are aimed at becoming more resilient, more healthy, less reactionary, and generally extra zen in the new year. Because after all, this journey of life is a work in progress! 

Disclaimer: All of the thoughts below have not yet been tested. If you have ideas, comments hor suggestions based on your own experience, I’m all ears. I’ll report back on progress in six months!

Meditate as a Method for Daily Calm.

One of the ways I am a total nerd is that I love, love, love to geek out on data and mental health knowledge. It may be because I deal with high anxiety daily--who knows. But, whenever I get down on myself about my lack of calmness as a parent, friend, professional, or wife, I go online to find any resource I can on how to ‘fix me.' Without question, when I get into this obsessive mode, I always stumble across a blog or article on the merits of mediation and meditating regularly. That’s usually the point where I roll my eyes, close the page and go back to whatever else I was doing that was “so much more important.” In the last few months, though, I have tried meditating--for real! Just 5 - 10 minutes per day, and while I was pessimistic at first, there’s a noticeable difference in my mood and daily productivity when I do meditate.

In 2020, I want to meditate INTENTIONALLY and DAILY. The time of day that works best for me is in the wee hours of the morning when the house is quiet before my kiddos or hubby wake up in the morning. I usually set up a pillow in my living room, looking out a window and aim for a 5 to 10-minute meditation practice.

Here’s the app I’m using. I’ll report back as to whether I see a mental shift. Join me! 

Clean eating and balanced alcohol consumption.

I wrote a post about the topic of self-image and health last year. The article was all about accepting your body as-is, and knowing that you are your best self RIGHT NOW, not tomorrow or five years from now. Funny thing is that even a year later, I am still riding the rollercoaster of self-doubt. And I'm starting to accept that it might be a life-long battle to stay healthy, mentally, and physically. You see, I struggle to maintain the diet and health I truly desire. Why is it so hard? My theory is that our culture is so focused on 'powering through' sh*t, living with an opulent and indulgent focus that it's practically impossible to stick with an intentional lifestyle.

While there are thousands of blogs focused on health and fitness, the reality is that the majority of Americans struggle with eating and drinking in a balanced fashion. And when everyone around you are continually indulging, it’s that much harder to be the one to maintain vigilance on your own healthy habits. Just one more glass of wine sounds good in the moment (especially if you’ve already had one or two 😉😈), and everyone else is having 'one more' too!

It’s just so easy to order nachos instead of something clean on the menu when “it’s on happy hour, and we’ll share it!” But suddenly you get up one morning and realize that you can’t remember the last time you really ate a healthy meal or didn't have a drink for one whole day. Maybe that’s why you’re lethargic, tired, grumpy. Perhaps that third or fourth glass of wine...yep, it happens...was not the right choice.

Okay, okay, I know what you’re thinking. I NEED to unwind after a long day. When I've worked all day, the kids are screaming, my husband is out for the night, and the house is a mess--but I’m too tired to clean it--I REALLY just NEED two things: Takeout pizza, and like five glasses of wine! I totally get it! I am right there with you. And I still plan to indulge myself when I NEED to do it. I just want to do it a whole lot less this year.

Someone said to me once, and my husband and I adopted it as a saying, “getting drunk is just borrowing happiness from the future.” It’s soooo true, right? Eating sh*t food has the same result. Except you get to see those results right out in the open--on your body. Sometimes borrowing that happiness is totally worth it for a fun night where you get to unwind and let loose. 👯

I’m just going to try this year NOT to have to NEED to borrow happiness in the form of alcohol and food every day of the week. 

But one thing is for sure, and it's cliche, so get ready. A goal without a plan is just a wish. You've probably heard this before, and it's the god's honest truth. I'm a planner 100% because when I don't plan, things don't happen. So here's my weekly diet and alcohol plan for 2020:

Monday - Thursday: 

• No alcohol, and no takeout food

• Eat a plant-based meal once a day

• Limit carbs to the good ones (brown rice, sourdough bread, etc.)

Thursday - Sunday:

• Indulge in a few drinks, but keep it under five

• Eat something totally decadent, but only once or twice a week

• Eat out once a week--because I need to get out of the kitchen sometimes! #ParentingSurvival

Detoxes:

• Take a month off from alcohol 2 Times in 2020 (I’m doing this alcohol detox now! Sober January for the win!) My hope is to also detox from drinking before the holidays as well. This is for my liver, but also for my mind!

• Adopt a dairy and/or gluten diet for 30 days 2 times in 2020. I’m also not eating dairy this month, and it’s really making a difference in my energy level, and so much more. These detoxes are proven to reset your body, so you can stay healthy as you age!

• Non-detox months are still conscious months. For the months where I am drinking alcohol and eating a more lax diet, I still plan to follow the weekly guidelines I mentioned first. 

If you want to join me in this (somewhat low-key) clean lifestyle plan this year, let me know! You can contact me here. I’d love to motivate each other and pair up on detoxes throughout the year. 

Also, here are a few resources I’m using to stay motivated and find recipes for weekly meals that fit this plan:

• Lexi’s Clean Kitchen

• Run Fast. Eat Slow.

• The Healthy Blog

  • Get motivated to curb alcohol intake with this post on Limiting Alcohol Consumption

Because I'm a type-A overachiever, three goals/resolutions just didn't seem sufficient for this year. But the post was getting unruly and long, so I've broken it down into three parts.  

Thanks for tuning in! Read part two for more reflections on how you can stay healthy in mind, soul, and body in 2020.

xoxo

EM 💜

I’m looking for guest bloggers! Are you interested in writing a post about mommyhood, your career, your health, feminism in today’s world, or some other topic for women? I’m game! Hit me up here.