How and Why Listening to Your Intuition Matters
Have you ever experienced a situation or moment in which your” gut instinct” alerted you, as if to say, “Something here is wrong?”
Chances are you’ve been in this exact situation a few times in your life by now. But what do you do when those feelings arise? Do you listen? Or do you push them down and convince yourself that it’s just your imagination?
I distinctly remember the first time I truly listened to and made a decision based on my gut instinct. I was sixteen years old and on a camping trip with my best friend and other friends along the Colorado River. There was one set of parents supervising our group, but otherwise, it was a free-for-all. We were camped right on the river, and boats, plus boaters, were flying by all day long as we lounged and swam. Halfway through the second day, a boat pulled up to the bank and invited me and two of my friends to go for a ride with them.
Let’s pause for a moment because I know what you’re thinking. “Why would you get into a boat with strangers?” Believe me, I was thinking the same thing. But my friends really wanted to go, and I had a feeling, call it a gut instinct, that I shouldn’t let them go alone.
Within the first 10 minutes of the ride, I realized the three guys on the boat were drunk. The one driving was unsafe as he drove through the narrow river channels, and we almost hit two other boats. I asked them to take us back to our camp, but my friends brushed it off. Then they said they were taking us back to their condo first. The alarm bells started ringing in my head. “No,” I said. “You need to take us back to camp.”
They just laughed as they sped through the water. At this point, both of my friends were also getting nervous.
But then a miracle happened: They needed gas for their boat. So, the drinking driver pulled into a riverside gas station. I knew something was wrong, aside from the drinking, so I made a snap decision. I grabbed both of my friends and said, “Let’s go.”
We hopped onto the dock as the three guys yelled at us to come back and told them we would find another ride back to camp. The drunk guys spend off, cursing us.
They took off in a huff, but another group of clearly sober boaters took us back to our campsite.
My friends and I sighed in relief, and we arrived.
Would anything horrible have occurred if we had stayed? I’ll never know. What I do know is that I’m glad we never found out.
It was the first time I had a real moment of clarity about how important it is to listen to your gut instinct or intuition. There have been hundreds of times since I have made choices or uncovered truths by listening to the voice inside of me when something, someone, or some situation is raising red flags in my system. It’s not just about unsafe situations, as in my personal story, but it can also be an instinct about a job, a relationship, a friendship, and so much more.
So, if you struggle with listening to your intuition. Or you just need a reminder of why and how it’s important to honor your instincts. Here are some of the ways in which you can tune in.
Detach Your Instinct from Fear or Past History
Okay, I’m starting with this step because there are so many non-believers out there who don’t believe in the power of intuition. So, in any instance where your instinct is ringing the alarm bell, start here. Assess whether or not your fear or past history is clouding your judgment. Believe me, you know if that is the case. I cannot tell you how, but I genuinely believe that your body and soul understand the difference between accurate intuition and unfounded fear.
If you zoom out and look at the situation as a whole, ask yourself two questions:
Is your feeling or fear impossible? Meaning, you’re sure that the red flags you’re seeing or feeling couldn’t in any reality be actual.
If your instinct is correct, will there be serious consequences?
Assess the Urgency of the Situation
If you are feeling an intuitive warning or instinct due to finding yourself in an unfamiliar situation, like a person’s home or a trail in a park, the need to take action may be urgent.
But sometimes, an intuitive feeling is related to a larger setting, like your current job or your relationship with your partner. If the possible consequences of the instinct you are having will not affect your well-being or safety in the immediate environment you find yourself in, then the actions you can take may differ.
If your instinct is telling you that you need to leave a place, person’s company, or thing immediately, then you may need to make a snap decision, and some of the following steps will not apply.
Weigh the Possible Outcomes
Whatever place you find yourself in when an instinct or intuitive warning, or feeling arises, it’s critical to weigh possible outcomes – logically – before you make a decision about how to handle the next steps.
If listening to your gut instinct and taking action based on “a feeling” will cause immense waves in your personal life, your family’s life, or the lives of others, then approaching the feeling with immense care will be necessary. More on that later.
But, if your actions do not affect anyone or anything in your life with dire consequences, then you can likely just pay attention to feelings and take immediate action to protect yourself, your spaces, and your well-being.
Either way, take a moment (or five) to consider whether what you are feeling and the decisions you make based on your instincts will have more negative consequences than doing nothing.
Start with Small Steps
There are many moments in life when you will make a decision, whether you know it or not, and start moving forward based on your intuition. My intuitive moments and life pivot points are so clear to me now, but sometimes, when you’re in the thick of things, it can feel like what to do and when to do it is super murky and immensely stressful.
For example; some decisions, like where to go to college, are “path-changers,” but the outcome doesn’t necessarily affect any of your current relationships negatively (I am sure there are exceptions to this, but follow my lead here). On the other hand, a few years ago, my partner and I had to make an incredibly difficult and trauma-informed decision to end relationships with a few family members. The need to do this was not negotiable, but changing our lives by ending these relationshops based on the situation, was so so hard.
In those types of situations, it’s important to take small steps toward your goal because if you’re making a life-changing decision based on intuition and experience with family, a job, or a partner, you likely cannot just pull the plug all at once.
Watch and Listen
In my experience, this step in honoring and listening to your intuition is one of the most significant.
If your gut instinct is telling you that your partner is cheating on you, for example. You could confront them solely based on instinct (maybe you’ve already done this). But the likelihood is your partner will deny it, whether it’s true or not, which leaves you in the awkward position of having to decide how to proceed without accurate data.
But if you wait, watch, and listen to your partner for a decided period of time, for example, one to two months, you will start to see very clearly through their actions, words, and explanations whether or not your instinct is correct.
You can take this time to ask clear questions, based on what you’re seeing and hearing. Or take small steps to separate yourself from fear of the outcome, to gain clear perspective.
Here are a few red flags to watch out for if your intuition is telling you that a loved one, friend, boss…is being dishonest:
When you ask questions, do they get defensive?
Do they hesitate to answer clear questions about the situation?
Do they provide unnecessary information to deflect from the question?
Are they unwilling to answer the question and continually change the subject?
When you ask, do they accuse you of being paranoid or mistaken?
Note: Trusting your instincts in relationships can be very tricky and consequential. I do not take this lightly. But I also truly believe that your life, journey, and path will be far happier, more rewarding, and more peaceful if you act and make decisions for yourself from a place of intuitive connection versus obligation and ignorance.
Remember Who You Are
No matter what, at the end of the day, if you can stay connected to your core values and who you are, your decisions and intuitive connection will be that much stronger.
Whether you tune into your intuition and instincts in settings like jogging in a park alone, waiting for a cab, or trusting your gut when it comes to encounters with strangers, or you lean into your intuition with close relationships and big life decisions, you truly do have the power to guide yourself in the right direction for your life, goals, and well-being.
It will always circle back to remembering who you are and leaning into your own needs first, though. Because if you’re disconnected from yourself, nothing else will be clear or make sense.