Womanhood Unwrapped

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Don’t Kill Your Momentum By Over-focusing On Perfection

I'm the first to overthink things. I'm the first to run through all the scenarios, possible pitfalls, and potential positive or negative outcomes. But as a woman, who's also a mother, wife, and serial entrepreneur, I had to learn early in the launch of my first business, a super challenging lesson.

I bet you've had a boss in the past, or maybe do right now, that over-focusses on perfection. I know I've had a few!

Maybe they are always correcting your grammar in emails, or the way you sit or talk to clients or the 'lack of creativity' in your rough draft. I bet if you've ever had a boss or client like this, then you know that this hyper-vigilant, over-perfect management style creates chaos. My first exposure to the corporate business world was in a toxic environment like this. I became so focused on getting things' perfect' that I made more mistakes and lost all my work and job engagement. This is what over-focusing on perfection does. It births a malicious domain, where all who get stuck in it become paralyzed by the prospect of being wrong or getting things inaccurate. Do you feel me?

When I launched my first business, it happened by mistake. In retrospect, if I had known what I was doing, I probably wouldn't have actually followed through or accomplished any of the milestones I did in the first year. 

You see, I was professionally cultivated in the era of 'marketing perfectionism,' I continually told myself that "my writing wasn't good enough," "I didn't have enough experience to call myself a strategist," "I made too many errors to be a leader or a boss." These were the narratives I let run through my head daily. And so when I set out to offer freelance social media services, I didn't think I was doing anything special. After all, there are a million consultants out there, right?

Maybe the lack of knowledge is what saved me from me. πŸ€” 

As luck would have it, I realized that my business was growing more massive than I could manage independently in the first year! I hired a contractor out of necessity, not out of foresight. And then, two years later, I had a team of six, an office space, and realized I had actually done the thing I'd always wanted to do. Still, it had happened despite me, not because of me.

It now doesn't scare me to start a business or assert my level of experience or expertise, but what does scare me now is the fear that I AM NOT DOING ENOUGH.

I recently connected with another mother and entrepreneur, Jessi Woinarowicz, who has launched a podcast while still working her day job. The Glaze and Grit podcast is fantastic -- check it out. πŸ™Œ

She was expressing to me the feeling that she "just doesn't sometimes know if she's actually on the right track. I mean, I am so honored to be in a position to interview the incredible women and men who come onto the podcast, but I am continually racing the clock for more time and more capacity" I immediately got what she was feeling. She feels like her podcast isn't as polished as she would like; she wants to do so much more but lacks the funds -- just yet, and the time. She's worried that she's just not qualified enough.

These are such common feelings when going out on your own with a passion project or business endeavor! 


I have felt this way every step of the way since the day I took the leap and stepped out on my own to fulling embrace being an entrepreneur. By the time I closed my first business and launched my second, I had learned a vital lesson: If you over-focus on perfection in business or your career, you will kill your own momentum.

Now, sitting on a Zoom call with my friend, I could clearly see how much she IS doing and how much momentum she is BUILDING. Her strength and willingness to launch into the unknown is exceptional. The rest comes from perseverance and passion, not perfection.

It was a good reminder for us both. I have wondered the same thing many times before. Is it making a difference? Does anyone care? Who needs this?

I needed a wake-up call in the form of another entrepreneurial-minded woman to remind me of some invaluable lessons I've learned about being a working mom and entrepreneur. πŸ‘‡

#1: There is no right time to start a venture

"The key to success is to start before you are ready."- Marie Forleo, Entrepreneur, Writer, Philanthropist

It's so easy to think that, "next year," or "when you just learn a little bit more about a, b, or c," you'll finally be ready to do the thing that you've been fantasizing about doing. That perspective is folly. If you look at any successful startup owner or entrepreneur, they will be the first to tell you that you will never be ready. You will never "know everything," and you damn-well better get past the fear of the unknown, or you'll never start that business, or launch that blog, or build that nonprofit.

#2: You will make mistakes; get used to it

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." – Thomas Edison

It's easy to look at a Steve Jobs, or Howard Schultz, or Oprah Winfrey and think that they must've had a flawless plan to get to where they did and to have built what they built, but they didn't. In fact, likely, they thought their business was in the sh*tter many times in the first five or even 10 years.

But more importantly, you cannot measure your progress or accomplishments based on comparing yourself to others. Your success looks different than someone else's, and your mistakes will be different too. As cliche as it might sound, I have learned far more from the mistakes I've made in business than I ever have from the wins.

It's all a process.

#3: Some may not see the vision

"Chase the vision, not the money; the money will end up following you." – Tony Hsieh, CEO Zappos


There's a reason why successful entrepreneurs do not follow in someone else's footsteps. If you're doing something that's already been done, it's not new, right? πŸ‘

But weirdly, it seems that every fledgling entrepreneur with a spanking new idea gets flack from those who can't see the vision. Either it's too far fetched, it seems too impossible, or just plain there's no one else doing it. Things outside the status quo scare those who can't think outside the box. If your mom, boss, brother, or bestie can't see or support your vision, don't be discouraged. Not everyone will.

Find the people who do see it and want to see you succeed. They'll be the same ones to help you up when you hit a roadblock and work through the snags with you! 

#4: There will be peaks, and there will be valleys

"Don't be intimidated by what you don't know." – Sara Blakely, Spanx Founder, and CEO

There will be moments in your journey as a woman professional or business owner where you'll stop and be like, "what the eff am I doing?" "Is this worth it?" "What am I accomplishing."


These moments are what I like to call the 'valleys' of success. There are peaks too, where you get that interview or write up! Or meet your sales goal, or gain positive feedback from your community, but the elevations are fleeting. The valleys are where the hard work and change actually happens. The realizations come to you in these moments, and your willingness to stay in the game and commit to your vision is fully tested! 

If you can come out of these times and continue to climb for that next peak and moment of elation, you're going to find it. If you lose all hope every time your business or venture hits a roadblock, the way will be far less accessible.

You can't know what you don't know, but you can have faith in the process and the journey.

#5: If you focus on being perfect, you'll kill the momentum

"Risk more than others think is safe. Dream more than others think is practical." -Howard Schultz, Starbucks CEO

I've heard some version of this said by many an accomplished visionary; "I'm a big picture person. I hire people to focus on the nitty-gritty." I'm paraphrasing a lot of different quotes here, but the idea remains. And this idea is the crux of what I think separates those who can and those who can't.

It occurred to me at one point after hiring my first teammate that if I tried to critique and micromanage their every move, I would be doing their job for them...and paying them...and still doing my job too -- not gaining any benefit from having this person on my team. I had to let go of perfectionism.

I now run a business and a blog on my own. I have no employees, and yet the principle still stands. If I focus on making everything I do, put out, or write perfect, I will never get it published or done! 


That doesn't mean I don't have tools, goals, or quality control practices. It just means that focussing on perfection can be paralyzing. And in my world, with kiddos and family and other responsibilities, I just can't focus on perfection. I must instead focus on progress.

#6: Pivoting is not a sign of weakness

"I learned to always take on things I'd never done before. Growth and comfort do not coexist."- Virginia Rometty, American Executive

Realizing that the direction your business or career are going is not where you want to be, or is no longer working, does not mean you are weak. I'm going to say that again; You are not weak for needing to change course. It doesn't mean your efforts were a waste of time. 

Pivoting means that you are deeply connected to what's right for you or the marketplace. Shifting means you are paying attention to what's right and when it's time to change course. It does not mean you are a failure.

Every career woman must, at some point, pivot. You can do it, and you will learn from it! Know that the hard part will lead to the next place you need to be.

#7: Don't quit before the miracle happens

"The difference between skill and talent: A skill is something you learn. Talent is what you can't help doing." β€”Caroline Ghosn, founder, and CEO of career site Levo

If you are reading this, likely you are already entrepreneurial-minded. If you have something you have always wanted to do, are already doing, or feel driven to accomplish, you need to let that talent out. It's not just a matter of being good at something. It's a NEED share your idea, product, or talent with the world that drives most of us who live in the weird entrepreneurial warzone.

That said, you're going to want to quit at some point. It will seem too hard. The road to achievement with not be clear. Your friends or family might question your motives or progress.

Don't give up your vision. Don't give up on yourself. Even if it takes twice as long to get where you're going or involves stops, starts, and turns. You are worthy. The miracle will happen.

#8: Work hard, but don't take it too seriously

"Dear optimist, pessimist, and realist – while you guys were busy arguing about the glass of wine, I drank it! Sincerely, the opportunist!"- Lori Greiner

The opportunist is my favorite character in the story of launching your vision. In my opinion, that character is someone who works hard but is also able to be lighthearted. You don't have to find humor in the journey, but wouldn't it be more fun if you did?

Your opportunity to learn, grow, and accomplish is what you make of it! Enjoy the journey. Not all the time. But some of the time. It's the part you'll look back on with fondness and say, "Wow! Remember when?"

"When" is now.

Xoxo

EM πŸ’œ